Top Three DCOMs You Have to Watch

If you’re the average Gen Z American, you probably grew up watching silly, cheesy movies on Disney Channel. We bet you’re tired of watching the same old High School Musical shmuiscals, sooooo we prepared you a list of some of the best original movies from Disney! These top Golden Globe-winning movies do not contain any cheesy or cringey scenes, so you can watch at extreme comfort and ease. 

Best DCOMs ranked from worst to best:

3. Z-O-M-B-I-E-S

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S is a racial commentary on segregation gone horribly wrong. Its mere premise implies that the minorities forced into poverty and shunned by society are inherently evil through having their represented race be naturally violent and aggressive. The implications of this are horribly antagonistic and reinforce harmful racial stereotypes. 

The film follows two main characters- Zed the Zombie and Addison the Cheerleader. Zed wants to be a football player, but he is doomed to failure  due to his status as a zombie. Addison, on the other hand, was  born into wealth and has never had to work for anything in her entire life. She is extremely privileged and is blind to the discriminatory policies of her society. Addison wishes to be a cheerleader, and due to her status as the daughter of the police chief and mayor, she easily gets in. 

However, Addison has a secret. She has white hair. This is horrible and she will be allegedly shunned forever for being different, despite her ‘mutation’ being entirely harmless and nothing compared to the discrimination faced by the zombies who literally live in a ghetto.

Zed the Zombie has some zombie friends- Eliza and Bonzo, and they all represent various leaders of the 1960s Civil Rights Movement. Zed is a stand-in for Martin Luther King Jr, pushing for peaceful change, whereas Eliza’s introduction starts with her wanting to start a violent revolution to bring zombies back into human society, making her Malcolm X (or Z, for zombie). Bonzo is not really anybody, because if he was, that would be slightly offensive.

Eliza’s ideology reflects that of the Black Power movement, except with zombies. She never says it, but we can clearly tell that she truly believes in “Peace is a white man (human)’s word. Liberation is ours.” 

The main premise of the film is the integration of zombies into human society by bringing them into Seabrook High School. While they are supposed to be treated like equals, the zombies are still segregated and forced to learn in the basement’s boiler room.

During cheer auditions, we meet Addison’s cousin, Bucky, who represents Governor Orval Faubus, the governor of Arkansas during the integration of the Little Rock Nine. He is extremely prejudiced towards the zombies and is willing to resort to violence and literal hate crimes to keep them in “their place”. He is completely against integration and advocates for continued discrimination and segregation of the zombies. He is well-liked by the student body of Seabrook High, and he essentially makes all the rules for his peers.

It’s worth noting that the school team name is ‘Mighty Shrimps’, which is frankly ridiculous, as shrimp are typically weak and frail, not mighty. 

Addison is instantly accepted into the cheerleading squad, and Zed meets her and falls in love instantly. They have an interracial romance, which is forbidden, because of course it is. Disney does not hide their subtle racism in this allegory in the slightest.

Zed turns off his bracelet that allows him to maintain his “humanity” so that he can play football better. Because he wins all the games, zombies become cool and popular, implying that the only way a minority can achieve true equality is by contributing to society in menial ways. This is a painful rhetoric repeated by racists regarding Mexican immigrants, and Disney has no issues pushing this ideology further in its film directed towards a teenage audience.

Bucky finds out that Zed has been cheating, and instead of bringing it to the administration, he decides to commit multiple hate crimes that result in the detainment of Zed, Eliza, and Bonzo that is implied to have lasted several days. This is never touched upon again, and the zombies who were imprisoned harbor no resentment towards the man who literally committed genetic warfare and threw them in jail for being different.

Despite being a representation of MLK, Zed does not write a letter to the public in Seabrook Jail.

At some point, Addison shows everyone her hair, and literally nobody cares about it because it is so insignificant to the story and only exists to make her cool and quirky. This is the worst plotpoint of a horrible movie, which is saying something when three teenagers are given jail time over something completely out of their control simply because they look different.

They end up winning the hearts and minds of the people by doing sick cheerleading performances at the finals, and after, once again, providing a service and “proving their worth”, the zombies are fully integrated into the human society and all the racism magically disappears.

All in all, this movie receives a total of 10 racisms out of 10 and 0 good movie points out of 100. We wish we never saw it.

2. Descendants 

 A 16-year-old gets drugged by a 16-year-old stranger from the ghetto. Watch to see what happens to them! Drugs are a big problem in the world today and can be seen in Descendants. Would you take a bite of a cookie from a girl from a forbidden land? Would you give that much trust? Well, if you were Ben from Descendants (son of Belle and the Beast), you would be gullible enough to try anything from anyone, including strangers. 

Like Z-O-M-B-I-E-S, Descendants also enforces the harmful rhetoric that a minority must contribute immensely to society in order to deserve an ounce of respect. The minorities are also depicted as inherently evil and dangerous, which is an odd pattern Disney has started with their original movies. It’s almost as if they’re trying to say something…

In the end, Ben ends up loving this villain drug dealer, so I guess that shows how all people can be loved. So I guess the moral of the story was that druggies can be loved too??? This is better than Z-O-M-B-I-E-S at least…

The movie is a solid 8/10 racisms. The music was somewhat good, but the characters were not it. They did not cook, serve, or eat (unlike Ben when he ate that drugged cookie).

1. Blank Check

How would you feel if a grown 30 year old FBI agent exchanges some cooties with an 11 year old boy who thinks he’s rich enough to buy a mansion? Welp, that is what Blank Check is all about! This amazing film starts out with little Preston riding his bike until Carl Quigely has an oopsie over his bike and gives Preston (you guessed it) a blank check! Preston, being the sneaky child he is, fills out the check for $1,000,000 and plans to cash it the following day.

Preston enters the bank and tells the bank person that he is Quigely’s associate named “Juice.” The craziest part is that the bank guy actually believed him and just casually put $1,000,000 in cash in his little backpack.

While Quigley finds out that this little boy stole a boat load of his money, Preston has the time of his life by purchasing a mansion, a limousine, a super expensive birthday party, and a bunch of toys and electronics. He even hired an employer with the name of Mr. Macintosh. 

Soon enough, the FBI goes on a search to find Preston to tell him he must give the money back to Quigley, despite spending all of it one week. That's when Shay, the FBI woman, comes in and saves Preston and shares a romantic moment with him (ewwww cooties!). 

This movie is a fair 10 groomings out of 10 and 100 good movie points out of 100. We are happy to say that it also receives a rating of 0 racisms out of 10, unlike the other two movies. Blank Check is simply the best movie of all time.

Sometimes, movies can be so bad that they’re good. In the case of Z-O-M-B-I-E-S, that is not true. Despite the fact that Descendants mirrors Z-O-M-B-I-E-S’ rhetoric, it’s still a much better movie, and Blank Check is infinitely better than the other two, arguably better than any High School Musical (Shmusical) and Camp Rock. We here at the Viking Vision highly recommend you watch all three of these films to form your own opinions on their cinematography and writing. It’s alright if you reach different conclusions than ours, as everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if their opinion is wrong.