How to Defend Yourself From Pigeons

America is facing a unique, yet familiar new national security threat. They have compromised and jeopardized the safety of every American, and their public presence has only increased their level of threat. The American Pigeon is presenting itself as a new and extremely dangerous threat to American safety and security. 

In order to protect yourself, it is advised to stay indoors as much as possible, only going outside when necessary. Pigeons are only dangerous when they have available physical contact, staying inside protects yourself and your loved ones from any threats the pigeon may possess. 

However, if the time comes and you are forced to leave the indoors and venture to the outside, ensure you wear gray or dark blue colors (wearing red or orange may provoke them as those colors remind them of their greatest bird-enemies, the cardinals) in order to help slightly camouflage yourself. 

Furthermore, if confronted by a Pigeon, do not try to run. Their ability to take flight and outrun you may put your safety at further risk. Instead, stay very still, and wait for them to back out the situation first. Any sudden movements or sounds may trigger a multitude of reactions from the Pigeon. Without the proper professional equipment, it is best to stay still until help arrives or the Pigeon removes themself from the situation. 

We at the Viking Vision are sending all of our thoughts and prayers to all of the victims of the recent pigeon attacks, and have pledged to continue to work with local and federal governments in order to keep you all updated and informed.